If New Year’s resolutions have left you feeling hopeful in the beginning… and disappointed later on, I want you to hear this clearly:
Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re neither “undisciplined” ,nor lazy.
You’re not “bad at sticking to things” and you’re not “too inconsistent” either.
and you’re definitely not broken.
Most resolutions don’t last for the one simple reason, that they’re usually based on an unrealistic idea that you can force a big change through willpower alone… even when you’re tired, stressed, your nervous system is overloaded, your emotions are full, and your life is already asking a lot of you.
From a holistic perspective, it makes total sense that a strict, all or nothing plan doesn’t last, because real life isn’t all or nothing, and neither are you, because you’re not here to be “fixed”. You’re here to be supported as a whole person.
So how about bringing resolutions back to what they were always meant to be: a path home to what matters.
🌱First of all, the problem isn’t you, it’s the way resolutions are taught, as traditional resolutions tend to sound like:
Start everything on 1st January, do it perfectly, be consistent no matter what, if you slip, you’ve failed...
That’s not a human plan, that’s a pressure plan.
Real life includes tired mornings, hormonal shifts, sick kids, stress spikes, emotional triggers, unexpected changes,
tender days, etc.
So let's be real about this (and please back me up here) that a plan that only works when life is calm…....
..... is NOT a plan. It’s a fantasy.
My personal holistic approach begins with the truth that consistency is not perfection. Never. Consistency is returning in my vocabulary.
🌱Second, the heart doesn’t commit to goals, it commits to feeling the meaning. A resolution usually starts as an outcome, like to lose weight, save money, get organised, stop scrolling, or be more productive… but underneath the outcome there is a longing. So when I would like to commit to something I do this instead. I ask myself what the deeper “why” is beneath my resolution. What am I truly craving? So for example when
“I want to lose weight” → I want to feel at home in my body.
“I want to save money” → I want to feel the steadiness and choice.
“I want to be productive” → I want to feel that I trust myself again.
“I want to stop scrolling” → I want presence. I want my life back.
When you connect to what it means to you, your intention becomes anchored in that feeling and it stops it being a list item and it starts becoming a devotion.
🌱Third of all, your nervous system decides what’s sustainable and I feel this is the part nobody tells you about really.
You can have the best intentions in the world, but if your body is living in stress, survival, shutdown, overwhelm, or emotional backlog… your system will protect you from the “extra demands”. Even if those demands are positive. Your body wants to keep you safe regardless.
So if your resolutions have fizzled out before, it may not be a motivation issue, it may be a regulation issue.
Maybe put it to the holistic test and ask these questions (and be really honest): Do I feel safe enough to change? Am I rested enough to act? Am I carrying too much already? Do I have support? Can I start small enough that my body doesn’t resist?
In my view this isn’t an excuse, it’s rather realistic wisdom, because when your nervous system feels steadier, your “discipline” becomes natural. And learn yourself, what helps your nervous system feel steadier.
🌱Then fourth of all, the myth that keeps people stuck that “If I can’t do it fully, I won’t do it at all.” All or nothing thinking is the quickest way to quit, because it sounds like “I missed a day, so I’ve ruined it.” “I can’t do 30 minutes, so I’ll do nothing.” “I had a takeaway, so the week is ruined.” etc.
...but change happens through small, repeatable actions, not huge bursts of perfection.
I feel it is better to choose a more supportive mantra (I love to choose a mantra, as it can become my anchor to follow through), such as “Make it small enough that you can still do it on a really hard day.” Please be(e) kind and realistic with youself.
..because you know, the days that change you the most are not the perfect, high energy days. They’re the ordinary, busy everydays, and the days when you’re tired, emotional, or stretched and you still do something, ANYTHING towards your commitment.
That’s where tiny, steady steps make the biggest difference.
🌱and fifth of all, choose your North Star⭐ for January and the rest of the months. I mean, instead of five-ten resolutions, choose one guiding intention as your North Star, the deeper feeling you’re truly longing for, by asking yourself:
What do I want to feel more of by the end of January? (...and then by the end of February, etc.)
What do I want to embody?
What would support my wellbeing in real life?
Is it calmer mornings? Steadier energy? Stronger boundaries? More play? More prayer/presence? Feeling at home in my body? Less rushing? Gentle confidence? (I am speaking home now, but maybe) regular massage sessions?
Whatever it is for you, let yourself be honest. Not about what you think you should want, but what you truly want to feel.
...and then make it workable.
So choose one North Star for January to start with. Name it simply.
Then ask yourself: What is one small action I can do most days that supports this?
Not the biggest action. Not the perfect routine.
Just simply the next, kind and realistic step your nervous system can actually say a full body yes to.
⭐Jedi January ⭐might bring a structure that supports you (not pressure that breaks you)
I created Jedi January because so many people (myself included!) don’t need more motivation, they need a friendly structure.
No tricks, and no need to be a Star Wars fan either. IT is just a playful language and tool for something real by the way: a daily practice, returning to centre, and choosing (one small “training move” ) again.
A Jedi is not made in a day. They are trained through repetition, humility, self-awareness, and steady devotion, so instead of “new year, new you”… for me Jedi January says to you ⭐New year, deeper you⭐
So let me share the Jedi January method that requires 5–15 minutes a day. Are you ready?
Step 1⭐: Return to centre with Heart-Focused Breathing (1 minute) Hand on heart. Slow, deep inhale. Long deep exhale.
then gently ask yourself: What matters today?
Step 2⭐: Choose today’s training move (2–10 minutes)
Pick one tiny action that supports your North Star: e.g drink a glass of water before coffee, 5-minute stretch, 10min walk, protein with breakfast, one drawer tidy,,3 lines of journaling, EFT tapping to soften stress, 2 min of heart breathing / coherence practice, one kind boundary message, a short prayer “Guide me today.” , etc. whatever it is for you
Step 3⭐: Micro reflection in the evening (30 seconds)
Ask yourself with care:
What did I do today that I’m proud of?
What helped me follow through?
What do I want to choose again tomorrow?
That’s it.
Small. Repeatable and nervous system friendly.
And over time, these “tiny” steps become a new identity. YEs, “I am someone who returns.”
And when you wobble (because you will, because you are human) comes the Jedi Reset!
This is where most people quit by the way, and not because they can’t do it, but because they interpret a wobble as failure. So here’s a kinder truth: a wobble is not failure. It’s a moment to practise returning. Flexing your resilience muscle, so it becomes stronger and stronger.
Try this by saying to yourself, maybe looking yourself in the eye in a mirror:
“I’m having a human moment. Nothing has gone wrong. I can choose again gently right now.”
Then do the smallest next step.
Even if it’s just a breath and an early night.
That still counts.
If you’d like more support and structure, I’ve got you. If you’re someone who thrives with gentle guidance, you’re not alone and you don’t have to do this all in your head.
Throughout Jedi January (and beyond), I share guided pathworkings (for the full moon and new moon of each month) taht are imagined and crafted to help you reconnect with your heart and your intention, not just mentally, but somatically in the body too.
Many of my recordings blend a holistic touch of EFT tapping (to soften emotional charge and shift patterns), breathwork (to ground and regulate your nervous system) and even affirmations (to anchor the identity you’re choosing to embody)
These are tools you can use again and again , especially on the days when life is loud and you need a steady hand back to centre.
And if you’d love something completely tailored to you, I also offer 1:1 online bespoke sessions, created around your goals, your emotional landscape, and what you’re truly navigating right now. You can explore that at www.beesholistics.co.uk
If you have ever “failed” at resolutions before, let this be the year you stop using that word.
Maybe you weren’t failing. Maybe you were learning what doesn’t work for your nervous system.
So this January, may you choose a path that feels like support, not self-punishment.
May your steps be small enough to be steady.
May your devotion be rooted in love and may all you do be done in love.
And may you remember that you don’t need to become worthy. You already are. You’re simply learning how to live in alignment with that truth⭐
Always with love
B✨
